but i have a new computer thinking that i would have a nice steady job that paid me well enough so i could get a computer and not worry about the bills next month. unfortunately for me the boss was legit crazy and because i was the new person she promised me a management position and set me to work for one of the more hated managers.
three days after this manager was fired she fired me.
I'll admit i had my phone out and was checking on a delivery (of the laptop i have right now ironically) but damn the way she reacted made me think i'd grown male anatomy and was flinging it everywhere.
Which brings me to this. I have next to no money. and by next to no money i mean less than a couple hundred, but that's not going to pay the utility bill which is going to be much higher than the last few months because i had visitors, which lead to a lot of water used and the gas stove used and lots of electricity.
in all i can estimate it to be 200 which isn't that bad unless you consider that i have less than that in my bank account.
I haven't asked my siblings for money I haven't asked my parents for money.
My mother is living off disabled income. My dad will be going into surgery to fix his arm and will be out of work for a long time and he's looking at retirement.
my two brothers are hermits and my sister just wants to splurge on herself. and hey i don't blame them. they're making money and they have every right to spend it the way they want to.
while i'm tossed out of every job i try to get. I feel worthless and ashamed of myself. I can't keep a job and I don't feel like i can learn what they want me to do quickly enough.
I'm timid to go to college again because i screwed up my second year by trying to get all the hard stuff done and my grades plummeted. and i was flat out depressed for 3 months after that.
I'm timid to keep looking for a new job because they usually don't want to keep me because i do one or another thing wrong and they toss me away like trash and i've tried so hard not to be considered disposable. but they don't like one thing and then poof i'm gone.
at least for now i have food stamps so i wont' go hungry. but that's the least of my problems right now.
In light of all this I'm going to open a paypal account and take commissions. i don't know how i'll do this with so few followers and barely anyone knows who i am and i've hardly been online the past year.
I'm just trying to find something that will help me get places in life. Like California. I'd love to go there so i can be closer to Ed and work in the mountains. I want to learn how to fly a helicopter and cause avalanches so that skiers are safe. bring in wounded animals or humans. transport valuable goods. probably won't be thanked for it but i love to see things get to their destination it's like;
I have thing. good to have thing.
i need to get thing to area b
got thing to area b owo gooooood *pets thing* you do your thing, thing.
i do i honestly do love to transport things make sure they're safe during the journey and just herald stuffffff
I love people but i hate it when i get a job where there's already drama going on and a hierarchy that shouldn't be there. it's happened at two of my jobs.
my first job i had for a year. i quit because I couldn't afford driving back and forth on the wages he was paying me.
my second job i got to ensure a smooth transition from driving far away to driving in town. but because i was working two jobs and wasn't ready for it it wore me down and my attention faltered and i didn't make it in to work on time. and i was fired.
my thrid job i got 3 months after my second job. it was fun it was alive it was great. but the co workers. there was just so much hate going around. people blaming people money being stolen co workers KNowing how to break into the management office. not to mention most of my coworkers proudly announced that they had been in prison. not only that but i'd been on the job when a couple of them were arrested. it was pure chaos when we hit rush hour. especially when i was landed with the manager who wasn't well liked. she was terrible at managing lines and we were backed up to the street on drive through. I was merely the register runner and took care of the lobby i couldn't help on lines because i didn't know what i needed to do and the manager wasnt heloing.
Whenever i was on the general manager's clock she searched for every reason to fire me or suspend me. I wasn't feeling good one day and a customer asked me how my day was and I wasn't one to go with the normal 'i'm doing fine what would you like to order' I'm an oddball and decided 'sorry feeling a little tired, what can i get you?' and she suspended me for three days. but the next day called me and asked me to come in. :/ and i already mentioned the reason i was fired didn't I?
*sigh* what a life i lead. and now i'm just here trying to sort out my life and move forward.